we aren't even well off!

We are so blessed in what we have, but I assure you, it isn't a lot.

Bio-mom was under the impression we make a lot of money. I wish she was right. We DON'T.

It was suggested that we stop "popping out babies". LOL. I love it when people say that. Like that's all I do.....*pop*.....*pop*.....*pop*....

Let me tell you about how we manage to do what we do and live how we live. Yourself, someone you know, or crazy bio-mom may learn something from what I have to say.

My babies are born at home in the bath tub. This means that we don't pay all those hospital bills. No extra charges for epidurals, pain pills, c-sections, anti-nausea meds, etc etc etc.

After my babies are born they are exclusively breastfed. I have diapers for my infants that I use and wash and use again. In fact, for the first 6 months, my babies cost NOTHING!

When I have to put clothes on my babies, I go to the consignment store or accept generous hand-me-down donations from friends who have mothered before me. Now that I've "popped" so many out, the babies can all share clothing amongst one another.

My children are well fed and take vitamins and, in their short time on this earth, have been sick 4 times (Joey) and 1 time (Ailey). This means we rarely see doctor's bills with their name's on them.

We aren't even "well off". It is true that we just bought a $240k home...and wouldn't you know that that $240k home we don't even fit in! It is cramped, but being so close to one another makes our hearts closer, too. I am a lucky woman, yes, but I make sacrifices, too. I have been wearing the same 6 outfits for 3 years now. I don't get to take my children to Disney World or Sea World because I choose to spend my money on CARING for my children. This means if they need oral surgery, I get it for them and pay my part for it. We spend time, not money. We make memories, we don't buy them.

We don't have money to spend on our own health and dental needs, but our children, they are a priority. Even if it means Ramen noodles here and there and no trip to Florida this year, at least Carly doesn't have retained, impacted, pre-molars causing infection inside her mouth:)

If it weren't for the richness of our relationships and the love that we share, we would 100%, for sure, be considered "poor". (Just as poor as you, BM;)

Later. Off to go make a gourmet meal with 2 eggs, a potato, and a slice of turkey!

Another jaw-dropping tale from the "other" house...

This just in: Carly has been having sleepovers with a boy at Shannon's house. Conner let it slip, but Carly confirmed it. Carly and a young fellow named Scotty have been sleeping in the same room, over night, without a parent present. You do not let teenagers have sleepovers! Especially young ones who are experiencing what hormones are capable of for the 1st time! Yes, I trust Carly and I agree that deep platonic relationships with the opposite sex are possible and healthy. However, why can this child not come over, spend time with Carly, and leave at bed time? I trust Carly, but I don't know him and neither does Carly's Dad! I do know he is a 13 year old boy. I also know what a lot of 13 year old boys were doing when I was 13! Why are we putting
Carly and Scotty in this situation? What sort of messages is this sending to Carly? I want Carly to be comfortable around boys, but not too comfortable. I want her to like boys, but not ACT or BE LIKE boys. I want her to know and understand the differences between herself and boys. I want her to see herself as a lady and not "just one of the guys" like her mother has always enjoyed doing of herself. I want her to be respected by boys and to do that, you have to act in a certain way. When will this stop? Does Shannon still see Carly as a 3 year old? I mean, Joey LOVES his little 3 year old friend Ava and if she ever spent the night I think this would be totally appropriate. They are 3 and innocent! At 13 I know that this Scotty character is not always thinking, "Oh Carly's such a great buddy. I haven't noticed that she's transformed into a young lady at all!"
It is time for Trey and this woman who calls herself Carly's mother to go for coffee...lot's and lot's of it because a lot of conversing needs to take place!

"Keeping the Party Alive with Baby #5"!!!

I know I said I thought that "slow down" was a great idea. ("Slow down" is so not our style!) But, my heart had been aching...I was trying really hard to ignore it. I should have know that baby fever was going to strike. At the same time the family started feeling incomplete. Through a lot of prayer God never made me feel like He wouldn't like for us to get pregnant again. Additionally, I've always said that I don't have a problem with hand-me-down clothing, nor do I think it's unacceptable to overuse bunk beds:) There was a big, empty, spot in Joey and Ailey's nursery where another crib (which was dis-assembled and in the storage room) would fit beautifully. Everything inside of me was calling for us to do it again...."just one more time". I talked to Trey about it. He knew...he had known...I had started making mention of "not feeling done" immediately after Ailey's birth. We had originally decided on July, but we always figure it will take a couple of months...why, I don't know! So we let the "trying" begin and 3 weeks later I was the proud owner of a positive pregnancy test! I don't know why, but every time it takes my breath away to see those two little lines "smiling" up at me. I did my little happy dance, alone, in the bathroom. I thanked GOD for blessing us once again. Then, I exited the bathroom and grinned like a silly girl for the rest of the day. I didn't wait long to tell Trey. He was laying down next to Ailey while she giggled and played and turned to me to say, "She's getting so big!". I replied with, "Big enough to be a big sister?" He laughed, "haha, no". "Oh, well, she's going to be one:)". He was happy and proud as usual:) We kept to ourselves for a little while this time around. Just felt like the right thing to do. Finally we told Carly and Conner. We were super nervous to tell them. We didn't get the best reaction when we told them we were pregnant with Ailey, but something in their hearts had changed because they were both so super excited, "couldn't wait to tell their friends", etc etc. I guess they realized that no matter how many new babies come in to our family, no one is replaceable:). So the adventure begins! I'm so excited about this baby. I'm so happy to be fortunate enough to have all my babies so close together. I am enjoying watching Joey and Ailey interact already...I can't wait to see the three of them together giggling and sharing their childhoods. And as always, Carly and Conner are such sweet and caring big siblings. When we told Trey's uncle that we were expecting #5 he said that the "Duggars were afraid we would steal their TV show"....but, I think there is a surgery coming up next March that says we won't:) Our dream of adopting is still very much alive! Call us crazy, but I'm loving every minute of this sweet and precious, children and baby-filled time in our lives.

bio-mom's laughter

Yesterday Carly's cell phone rang while I was making dinner. It was her Mom who probably didn't know that Carly was at her overnight for horse camp. I went ahead and answered by saying, "hey! It's Jennifer. Carly's at her overnight for horse camp." We then proceeded to have a FIVE minute phone conversation in which I brought her up to date on what was going on with the kids and she even asked if I would take Conner to a doctor appointment! (She used to throw complete fits if I preformed ANY motherly duties.) I made her laugh twice on the phone and even shared in her excitement about her new apartment in Tega Cay. It was SO nice! Then, this morning, I made her LOL via text. ME??? Making Shannon Kaminski LAUGH???? It feels so good when we have these moments of shared, peaceful, happy, co-parenting:) I know if the kids could witness these moments it would make them glow with happiness and a great sense of security.

dreams of your own....

It's a common truth that all we do affects our children, but i received some insight today that carries that statement beyond the years in which we are raising our babies....praying for the college years to come instead of savoring every good and bad momen they are ours all ours. ...and into parenting our adult children. As adults, even without realizing it, we look to our parent's continuing examples to lead us and encourage us. Wow! What a huge responsibility we have to these little people! It's a chore, but it's also a blessing and honor. Here is my hope for myself as an adult parent: My children will still want their Mommy in times of sickness or struggle...even if its just an encouraging phone call or to run over with a cool cloth for a fever-stricken head. Being called upon, I will gladly fulfill these motherly duties. I hope and pray that when my children choose a path that might make me anxious, I will note their certainty and excitement and never let them see my hesitation. My children accomplishing their dreams is a cause for celebration even if it's not the dreams I dreamed for them. I hope and pray that I can be a holy example....more than anything else. I hope that now to my babies and in the future to my adult children I can teach, guide, and live in a way that will glorify Him. As a parent I just never considered that even after college graduation....or past the age of 23 if college ends up being left out of the dream....that my job will never be done and my INFLUENCE will be ever-present. I'm going to take on this task with great positivity and LOVE.

"Everything You Won't Let Me Do"

I am very anti-fast food, but occasionally, after days like today and nights like tonight, I surrender and let my kids dine on nuggets, apple slices, and chocolate milk from Mickey D's. So while my oldest boy and I were sitting there giggling he lets me know, "I always eat all my dinner from McDonalds!". I asked if he eats McDonalds often to which he replies "all the time...at mommies". I told him all the time isn't good because McD's isnt exactly the healthiest food. Then, he asks if the following foods his Mom makes are healthy: buttered noodles, white rice, green beans in a can, Wendy's, and pizza. I told him the truth and said he should fill up on those green beans! He asked if I could make those foods for him. I told him no. Then he said what made my heart race and my stomach sink..."Mimi, whatever you dont let me do, Mommy DOES!!!"
When Trey got home from work I told him of our conversation. Trey asked him what things he would like to do more of over at our house that his Mom lets him do. The following terrify me: Play video games whenever he wants without the timer set, play video games where people shoot other people, eat fast food all the time, get on the internet on his DsI because Mommy took it to the store and had the parental codes we set removed, and watch whatever he wants on tv. Now, of course this all needs to be cross-referenced, but I really do believe every bit of it. What do I do? I considered backing down on some rules, but only for a second. I cant let any of those rules out the window. If we say anything to his mom about it it won't change anything. It's sooo sad. My heart is so broken for what the children are subjected to over there.
This the hardest part of being a stepmommy: watching babies you know and love as your own, be mis-treated, neglected, and have their innocence threatened BY THEIR OWN BIOLOGICAL MOTHER.
I could have Trey talk to her about her lack of rules and lack of parenting and lack of morals, but that's just who she is. Forgive me for once again saying nasty things about this woman, but as a Mommy, I strongly feel she plain and simple cannot parent. :( I pray. It's the strongest and best and only defense I have.

In Tega Cay!

Hello Blog,
It's me, Jennifer. I know it's been a while!

So, we are all moved-in to our new home. It's amazing here. All the excitement of new things for the children to explore and learn about. Discovering the lake, swimming on the beach, having a big wooded backyard to run around and play in... The list really goes on and on. I feel like everyone seems happier than I have seen them in a long time...myself, included. Tega Cay is so peaceful and everyone is so friendly. We have more baked goods in our kitchen than we know what to do with...thank you welcoming neighbors!

So I know God called us to move to Tega Cay, and I am so grateful that he did. But, he has been seriously surprising me (he's SO darn good at doing that!) with all of the families I have met with lots and lotsa BABIES! First, at our real estate closing we meet our real estate lawyer. ELEVEN CHILDREN. Then, we move in and meet the family across the street...FOUR CHILDREN. Then, I ran into a homeschooling mom a few blocks down the street from me....FIVE CHILDREN. Today at Wal-Mart I hear the cashier say to the woman in front on me, "Wow, seems like you are feeding an army!"...her reply: "I am: an army of SIX." I turned to her and said, "Do you really have six children?" She smiled sweetly and turned to face me revealing her baby bump..."I do! And (rubs tummy) number SEVEN is on the way!" We continued to discuss (she was a homeschooler) homeschooling and big family living and she assured me I got it...which I already knew;) She also told me that there are so many large families in this area and a really great network for homeschoolers. I know some of you are thinking, "okay this is coincidence and you can read into it however you wish", but I KNOW what's going on here: reassurance. Not that I ever needed to be reassured that I was doing the right thing in having a large family, but, sometimes, I do love reassurance that, no, I am not crazy and there ARE other people out there whom God has called to raise many many warriors for Him. It is a sweet thing and I feel so blessed to be a mother as God has called me to be...although, I would go crazy without his constant guidance and reassurance!

Thank YOU God for bringing our family to Tega Cay, for blessing us with all we have...especially one another. Thank you for guiding our family in the way we should go and for never forsaking us on the roads you lead us down. AMEN.