2 year old ramblings

i hungey. i want pop tarts. i want to talk to Daddy. pleeeeease. (tries to strangle baby with a scarf.) ew, mommy, come look at this spider web right here. ow, it itches! (hugs baby...squeezing around neck. bites baby knee cap.) (gets put in time out) mommy i wanted to kiss her! i wanted to kiss her! hey! mommy? mommy? (cant stop rubbing eyes) ew mommy! a spider! that spider name Aragog? mommyyyyyy! (joey be quiet in time out) that spider name Amagog?

It's HEEERRRE!

Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.
-- William Galvin




Carly will be a teenager in a week. However, the teen stuff has officially started. (We can say "stuff", we know what it really is...)

As a very wise woman, the woman Carly is named after in fact, used to say;
"ALIENS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY DAUGTHTER!"

I am entirely too young to be raising a teenager...especially a teen girl, at that. BUT, this is part of the plan that God had when he brought me into this family. So here we go....

As I age faster than normal and stress-out on a daily basis, here are some humorous (and some meaningful) quotes that might help me to laugh to keep from going crazy:

Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.
-- Virginia Satir

Adolescence is perhaps nature's way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.
-- Karen Savage and Patricia Adams

Arguing with a teenager is like wrestling in the mud with a pig. Sooner or later you figure out that he/she is enjoying it.
-- Author Unknown

At fourteen you don't need sickness or death for tragedy.
-- Jessamyn West

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
-- Doug Larson (That's for you sweet mentors of mine!)

I am every emotion times ten, I conform yet I'm rebellious, always obeying but somehow still an outlaw, always talking but never heard, I am a teenager.
-- Author Unknown

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
-- Erma Bombeck (LOL!)

Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
-- Author Unknown

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.
-- Judith Martin

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
-- Quentin Crisp

Lord, help me...and guide Carly....and guide me to help you to guide her. Amen

Lead Me With Strong Hands

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
- SANCTUS REAL

Christmas Dinner

So last night I didn't even feel much like making dinner. I had one of those bake and glaze spiral hams in the fridge that needed to be used. I plopped it in the oven. It smelled delish...all sweet like honey and cinnamon.

Then I decided to light some fall-theme-scented candles...cinnamon apple, pumpkin spice....all those nice cozy scents.

Next thing I knew, despite my lack of energy, I was feeling drawn to make a green bean casserole.

Gaining more momentum, I decided that mashed potatoes would be a lovely addition to this meal.

Next thing you know I've got a Christmas feast!

As things simmer in the oven and start to come together for dinner, I open up the Pandora and start some Bing Crosby Christmas.

I called the family in for dinner.
"It smells SO GOOD in here! Oh my gosh!"
"Wait, why is there Christmas music playing?"
"Oh my gosh you prepared Christmas dinner! This is awesome!"

As the tunes played, the candles burned and little tummies filled with yummy food. Family gathered around the table, smiling faces, and good conversation.

I think that we should celebrate Christmas several times throughout the year. It was so nice! The kids loved it....and so did we:)

non-deletable

If someone treats you badly, what do you do?

For me, I turn the other cheek....to start off with. We all say things that we don't mean. Sometimes we too quickly speak our mind and then wish we could take it back. I get that. I can forgive these instances.

When someone continues to treat you badly, what do you do?

For me, I start spending less time around that person. Maybe they aren't worth my time? After all, who wants to have their feelings hurt over and over?

When it doesn't stop, what next?

Delete their phone number? Delete them from your social-networking site? Walk the opposite direction when you see them in public? Block their access to your life in numerous ways as a form of defense mechanism, right?

There is a person in my life who hurts me over and over again. A person who I have given chance after chance after chance. A person who I have prayed to God to help to me to love, even though she treats me as if I am not even human. Instead, she treats me as if I have murdered every person she allegedly loves...even though all I have ever done is bring them happiness.

She is the mother of my husband's children. I cannot delete her from my life. I have to allow her to stay. I have to allow her to keep breaking my heart. You might advise that I just put up a shield and not let it get to me, but that would require detaching from my step-children....and would I be who I am if I did that?

If I just stopped caring about what makes them happy....stopped loving them, would they benefit from that?

I often wonder, but the answer is that I can't stop loving and caring for them...and why would anyone ever want me to?

Thank you to my friends and family who have loved and supported me as I have dealt with all the pain and suffering this "non-deletable" individual has caused me.

My apologies to all of you who, just as I have grown tired of the abuse, have grown tired of the subject topic.

But I can't delete her. I can't change my phone number. I can't run away. I can't get rid of her...because it would mean getting rid of my husband and bonus babies...and they are my family! This is just who I am, what I will always have to deal with, and a topic that will always come up...

I hate that it is this way.
I continue to pray for change in her heart.
But I assure you, anytime I need to talk about it, it's because I have suffered more deeply than anyone could even begin to understand. I haven't even EVER met another 50/50 custody step-mom. I know they surely exist, but my search is still on.

There's nothing left for ME to do...because no matter how hard I have tried to form a positive relationship with this woman, four years later, her only interests lie in a strong desire to hurt me...to live her life openly admitting that she is out to seek revenge on me for falling in love with her ex-husband and children.

Shame on me.

(sarcasm)

Thank you if you are one of the people in my life who continues to allow me to talk to you about my "non-deletable"...because it's really good, cheap, therapy:)

I don't have a cute little picture of Joey toting a backpack.....

So many of my friends have decided to send their 2 (soon to be 3) year-olds off to pre-school this fall.

They have posted photos of their adorable little tot in some of the cutest little outfits I have ever seen, toting their first backpacks and a big, "I'm ready for adventure" grin.

This has given me my first taste of how life will be different for my children if we end-up homeschooling.

Will they end up lacking independence and social skills? Or will they be more mature for spending so much more time around adults? Will I be depriving them of life experiences? Or will what we experience in our home adventures not only be enough, but give them a lifetime of family memories, as well?

It's such a tough decision and it's one that I continue to pray about each day.

I will say that Joey is doing great with what we have done at home so far this school year. Every morning he is the one telling me it's time for "homework"...that's what he calls it and he's so excited about it.

I will also say that I love having him here with me all day long and I can't imagine sending him away from me...even if only for a few days a week!

Decisions...decisions....

I can't believe it's not blue!

This past weekend we went ahead and went to The Prenatal Picture (www.theprenatalpicture.com)to see our little baby and to confirm my certainties that our house was going to be blessed by the energy and curiosities of another boy. Because of the episode I went through with determining Ailey's gender (little stinker wouldn't un-cross her legs!), I am practically a professional at gender determination via ultrasound. The MOMENT that I saw the screen I knew that my intuitions were *pleasantly*, completely inaccurate. I was staring at "THE" 3 lines! "I know what it is!" I said trying to stay calm before she said, "Yeah, I won't keep you guessing for long...it's a girl."

A GIRL!? Really!? The next thing I said was, "Oh my gosh! A sister! I love my sister!"

I am so excited for Ailey that I am not carrying just her baby sister, but her best friend for life. She won't know it, most likely until she's in her 20's, but she's going to have a best friend born in February!

As for me, I never imagined that I would even have one daughter...but two!? I really need to get on the dress-making and bow-making! I can't wait to dress them in little identical outfits...especially for holidays. I think it will be so sweet to see them playing dress up and house together.

What a blessing it will be to teach them about the wonderful joys of being a lady! Oh here come the waterworks....I guess the shock still hasn't fizzled out yet.

Thank you GOD for the blessing of babies....and the amazing gift of sisterhood.

Positively BLOG

Okay, so lately my family blog has turned into a place where I rant and complain...mostly about "you know who" and all her bad decisions. It's been a rough couple of weeks. This month, between myself and the children, we have have been to the doctor's a lot....dentist, oral surgeon, pediatrician, optometrist, obgyn, physician, ENT. We are out of money and this Momma is OUT OF ENERGY!

But, today, I am looking forward and bringing you a positive blog! *SMILE!*

Let me start with I love my husband. He works so hard at his job so that I can work hard around our home. He always stays so positive and strong for me...when I "just can't take it anymore". He always rubs my back whenever I ask him to. He rocks.

Keeping things chronological, Carly is awesome. There are so many things about her age and the upcoming years of her life that make me a nervous wreck, but when I talk to her I am reminded of how smart she is and how much she is not like me in junior high. Still, I see what is happening around her...to her friends and at her mom's house...and I hold on tight to my faith and to the special relationship she and I have built over the past 4 years. She's a combination of excited and nervous for school to start. We were unsuccessful in helping her to meet at least one person from her new school this summer. She's at a weird age right now where she can no longer walk up to someone and introduce herself and try to make friends. School starts next week...I can't wait to see what is in store for her! Exactly one month after school starts, our sweet girl will turn 13!

We've got Conner all signed up for Football for this fall! It's a big commitment this year. Practice is 3 nights a week for 2.5 hours and games are on Saturdays! This will be so good for him, though. He really needs to be in a situation where he is around kids his age that frequently and in a team setting. I think this will be the key to him making a good group of close friends. I still can't get him to eat healthily, but he's really started making an effort and keeps asking me, "Meme, am I getting better at eating good foods?" Aw, bless him:)

Joey keeps me on my toes, for sure. Actually, to be more realistic, he just plain stresses me out and cannot behave himself to save his life. (I know I said this was a positive blog, but Joey's 2...almost 3....I just have to be real here!) He wakes up way too early and fights us on going to bed until it's way too late. In between waking and falling asleep he does the opposite of what I ask, talks back, screams, and is out of control. He reminds me 100% of Conner at 3 only there aren't any teachers around for him to smack in the face and disrespect. He doesn't do well with breaking out of routine. He has no interest in using the potty and I am starting to believe that he enjoys his diaper. We are starting pre-school this fall which I am pretty nervous about. During Ailey's morning nap he and I will start schooling. I'm only hoping I can hold his attention long enough and well enough for him to learn. If this doesn't go well it isn't going to leave a great feeling in my heart about homeschooling. *prayers*

I can't believe that Ailey will be 1 in under 3 months! (I also can't believe I will have 3, 3 and under come February!) Ailey is smart and sweet and beautiful. She is crawling, pulling up, and cruising all over the place. She says, "Mama", "Dada" and "babababa". She always curls her toes and drinks her bottle with her feet. She adores her older siblings and it is so sweet to see her reunions with them after they have been away.....she giggles and kicks her feet in delight.

As for me, I'm positively tired:) The last couple of weeks have been an emotional and financial whirlwind. I'm hoping that our beach getaway next week will be a way to refill our tanks. I'm looking forward to the routine of the school year. I LOVE the fall! How exciting that it is just around the corner! I love the changing of the leaves, the smell of pumpkin, the constant simmer of my crock pot, and the roundness of my tummy that I have known every fall but one for the past 4 years. I love when it starts to get dark earlier and when our family favorites come back on tv. The start of the school year this year, for me, is going to be the start of a fresh beginning for our family. Amazing how three miserable weeks can make it seem like difficulties have been present for longer than they have. God's gotten us through these hard times and I know they are just about over:)

Praying for strength, happiness, and POSITIVITY!!!

"When your feet are dragging on the ground Stand up and face whatever you're afraid of.
When pandemonium is all around...That's when you find out what it is you're made of.
If you will just believe it's true Then there is nothing you can't do There's not a mountain that you can't climb There's not a river you can't make it over There's no tomorrow that you can't find if you try I know you're gonna make it Nothing can stop you now!"

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I know I can!"
-The Little Engine That Could