Ailey Grace's Birth Story

So there I was, 42 weeks pregnant...exactly. I went back with my midwife and re-worked the dates and did the math over and over again. I saw the OB and had an ultrasound done...no question about it...I was definitely 2 weeks overdue. My long awaited home birth was at stake.


I was tired of being pregnant, of course, but knew that baby was safe and sound inside me. The problem? Well, getting a doctor to approve the continuance of the pregnancy (midwife's requirement) and to then agree to deliver me at some point after 42 weeks is impossible to do. Fortunately, Dr. Jane Helwig blessed me with 2 extra days before scheduling my induction for 11.10.09 (at 42 weeks and 2 days).

On Sunday November 8, 2009 my midwife called in the morning. We decided it was time to get serious about any and all methods of natural induction.
"Okay, let's have you start pumping again. I will come over with some blue and black cohosh and I will do another membrane sweep to see if that does the trick. Keep doing squats and walk around...don't stop moving."
(If you are reading this please know that the above listed methods of natural induction will, at very least, seriously mess with your body. I don't recommend trying anything to get baby out until 40+ weeks!)
I did as she instructed. She came over and did the sweep, then left for the birth center. The "Charlotte Mommies" were coming to visit the center and she had to get ready.
Of course, as soon as she left, the contractions picked up. I wouldn't say that one particular method was working. I do, however, think that the membrane sweep may have done the trick.

My midwife sent another midwife by to check in on me. She hung out with me for a few contractions. My midwife came back and I asked her to check me. I was at 6 cms! Hallelujah! (I was, and had been, 4-5 cms for over a week!) At 1:00 on the dot the contractions picked up and my water broke. I was in a lot of pain, but didn't care because I was so excited about having that confirmation of real and true labor.

Barefooted my midwives and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I continued to walk through each contraction feeling strong and energized. My baby was coming! I was so happy! The weather was beautiful. We looked at the English lady's rose garden, walked up hill, downhill, and I tried to smile at my neighbors as not to scare them:)

The previous Monday (11.2.09) I had all my family over as I false labored for an entire day. That was a little much and so my midwife and I decided we were going to wait a bit before we called family this time. Sometimes women under pressure who are being watched can't get into their own natural groove and labor delays can happen. So....I continued to contract and laugh between contractions. I ate some apples and popcorn. I bounced on the birthing ball. The midwives left the room and Trey and I were laughing about something when suddenly a contraction hit me...hard! I stood up and lost a LOT of amniotic fluid. "Get me to the bathroom!" I yelled to Trey. I barely made it in, but the carpet was rescued. I squealed out in pain for the first time and my body naturally got into a low squat. The midwives came running back in. Trey held me up under one arm, one midwife under the other arm, and the other midwife looked at Trey and I heard her say in a very serious tone, "Go call your Mom's."

The bath water was running warm and I was stripping off wet clothes. Getting in my bath, my "natural epidural", felt so good! I regained my focus and breathed through the contractions. I was still happy, making jokes between contractions. Trey came back and I found I didn't want him touching me when I was in pain. I wanted to be holding a midwife's hand during each contraction. I wanted him there, but just as a comforting, strong, presence. My mother-in-law soon appeared in the bathroom doorway. Two minutes later my Mom came in. She had tears in her eyes and told me, "Your sister is on her way down from school right now!" That made me super excited. My Dad and brother, Bryan, were there to take Joey as soon as he got up from his nap...at least that was the plan. Instead, I started getting loud and they woke him up and headed out. Haley, my sister-in-law, stayed when Bryan left. I was so happy to have all these wonderful, important, women there, but as the pain worsened, I found that their laughter and excitement were very distraction and sadly sent them out of the room.

About 4:00 things were really getting tough. I was getting less and less of a break between contractions. The midwives had me get out of the bath so I could use gravity to my advantage a bit. It was so difficult because I just wanted to be in a comfortable spot and labor and every time that I went to change positions I wound up contracting someplace I didn't want to be. One time I wound up on the bedroom floor lodged in between a plastic laundry basket full of birth supplies and a plastic drawer full of baby clothes. I had nothing and no one to hold onto and I was so uncomfortable. "I don't like it here! I don't like it here! Get me out of this position!" I wanted back in the bath, but they said I needed a break from the water so I noted my pillow on the bed and dove to cuddle up with it quick before another contraction came. This is when "whale song" started.

It was approaching 5:00 at this point. This labor was fast and furious! I didn't like contracting out of the water, but I felt stuck on the bed at this point since the contractions were so close together. I found myself in constant pain. Little did I know, my body was trying to transition. "Hospital now! Hospital now! I can't! I can't! Listen to me! I am tired. I need a break. I just need five minutes to regain my energy. Help me! TREY! Hospital....waooooo...waoooooooo....". I sang the "whale song" as I later found out everyone called it for what seemed to be an eternity. In the seconds between contractions I begged for transport. I kept thinking I was a "stupid woman". Then, my midwives broke the news....I was not effectively laboring. All my energy was coming out in a high pitched noise. They told me it was time to walk the stairs. I told them they were CRAZY!

Somehow between the two of them and Trey, they got me outside the bedroom (they had all the family members go outside) and onto the stairs where I had a contraction and shouted, "I dont' want to contract here! I don't want to be here! Hospital NOW! TREY MONTGOMERY! HOSPITAL NOW!" With one midwife on each side they had me walking circles around the couch and reminded me how badly I wanted this home birth. I had gone 2 weeks overdue to achieve this! Trey reminded me how many times I told him I would never forgive him if he took me to the hospital when I was begging for it in labor. I regretted doing that! I got myself back through the bedroom doors when my Mom came in....she got in my face as I begged for the hospital and said, "NO! You have wanted this home birth for nine months! Now you do what they tell you to do and breathe and get the baby out!"

For some reason my Mother's "talk" really worked for me. I crawled back onto the bed, calmed down, and breathed. Breathed. Breathed. Someone rocked my hips and the midwives talked me through breathing and loosening my bottom. I was so uptight. Fear had taken over my body and it was stopping labor from progressing. They kept telling me to get on my hands and knees...I kept refusing. They listened to for the heartbeat (as they had been doing through the entire labor) and became very serious. "Jennifer, you have got to get on your hands and knees NOW!" I started to argue again until I saw them taking the oxygen tank out of a big suitcase. OH HELL! I got up on all fours super fast and grabbed the mask breathing deeply. They checked for the heartbeat again and then checked me. I was grasping the headboard screaming as serious as EVER, "hospital NOW! NOW! TREY!"

"Jennifer you are at 9 cms, you can't go to the hospital you will have the baby in the car." Then, I got the grunting/pushing urge. I grunted and pushed and grunted and pushed and then got the exciting news that I could get back in the tub. AMEN! Back in the tub I was in still in so much pain. I was hitting the wall trying to make the pain stop, but the only way to stop it was to work through it. Suddenly I was pushing and getting directions on breathing. It felt so good to push! I loved pushing. Her head came out. Everyone announced that her head came out, but I already knew that. They told me I could touch her head, but I didn't want to because I was so focused on delivering the shoulders. I had to wait for another contraction because I couldn't push without it. It came and I delivered the shoulders and the rest of her just slipped out. Midwife put her up on my chest and I DID IT! I DID IT! She was very blue in the face but I knew she was okay because she was breathing and rooting. I rubbed her little body and then warm towels were placed over us. I spoke to her and she became more alert with my every word. Trey was beaming and he was so excited. The midwives gave us a little space and our Mom's and Haley and Stephanie came rushing in. Everyone was so happy and celebrating. I was SO HIGH on love! It was amazing and the word amazing isn't even enough to describe that moment.


Ailey never left me. It was exactly what I wanted. I delivered the placenta (which felt SO strange!) and then, after the cord finished pulsating, Trey cut it. Ailey and I got out of the tub, dried off, and went to cuddle in bed...MY OWN bed. The midwives were in the other room eating spaghetti...totally giving us our space. It was nothing like being in the hospital. It was so warm and happy and beautiful. Family came in and out of the room to visit us and my brother came back with Joey. It was so amazing when he met his sister. He loved her instantly showering her with hugs and kisses. We watched as my midwife weighed and measured my beautiful little girl. 8 pounds, 10 ounces, 21 inches long! She latched on after that and had her first meal of colostrum. After she learned to latch, that was all she was interested in doing. :)

I was still in the tub with Ailey when I thanked my midwife for not allowing me to transport. I mean, really, she couldn't because Ailey would have come in the car, but still. I am so thankful I got my home birth, and even more so, my happy, healthy, gorgeous, baby girl.

Doctor's are not God...

Tomorrow I have to go see the doctor who will do Ailey's biophysical profile and confirm that she is safe and sound inside me at 42 weeks gestation. My midwife has warned..."the doctor will recommend an induction as soon as possible". Midwife feels comfortable letting me go to 43 weeks if all looks good, and I trust her, but as soon as that doctor announces her "professional opinion" that word becomes the law. Even if all the tests come back picture perfect, doctor will be scheduling me for induction. What does that mean? Well, fluorescent lights, technology, monitors, increased risk for pitocin=c-section, etc. It means after birth my baby will be taken from me and rubbed with those rough hospital towels I hate. It means that I will have nurses bossing me around and telling me what I can and can't do...holding me hostage in their hospital when all I want is to lay in my own bed and breastfeed my little girl. I will turn down every I.V., every single form of pain management that they offer me. I will shoot the light bulbs out of the ceiling and crush the hospital bed so I can squat when I need to squat and walk when I need to walk. I will refuse pitocin and internal fetal monitoring. The only thing I am agreeing to is a membrane rupture. If they are going to make me do this, I am going to make it as homebirth as I can! I won't be entirely defeated.....

In the meantime, it's only Thursday. I've got one last natural induction resort....castor oil again, in higher dosages, using a recipe from the midwife....and prayer. Lot's and lot's of prayer.

Being Overdue

November 1, 2009...still no baby. I am in complete shock and disbelief. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. Everyone keeps asking me when my induction date will be. When will I schedule my c-section? Those who know more keep asking me what my midwife will do. The point of going all natural is that nothing is done. The thing is, I am starting to doubt my body. It feels like it's not working right! Doesn't it know that a baby was supposed to be born from it a week ago? I
Being overdue is one of the worst feelings in the world. I would rather be in labor...that is at least accomplishing something despite the pain. Being overdue drains me of all my patience and energy. All of the nesting I did preparing for the baby is completely undone...and I don't have the ability to re-do it for the 100th time. I feel like I need to re-wash her clothes and bedding that have been sitting around for 3 weeks now collecting dust while waiting on her. My poor husband could really use a break from waiting on me hand and foot...God bless him. My 2 year old desperately needs his Mommy back and his behavior is extremely reflective of that. My relationships with my stepchildren are suffering. It's so hard to keep all my hopes and goals for this pregnancy in mind when I know that my OB would have induced me a week ago.
Then again, who knows what additional complications would have arisen from that route! I would be just as worthless after a c-section.
When I do become a midwife I sure will be able to sympathize with my overdue patients. My best advice is that any home remedy to try and make baby come is not worth it. Here is my experience...
Castor Oil: extreme vomiting and diarrhea. NO BABY.
Sex: incredible discomfort and hours of false labor. NO BABY.
Blue and Black Cohosh herbs: extreme nausea and a nasty taste in the mouth that caused me to vomit on one occasion. NO BABY.
The last time I blogged I thought for sure that my next blog would include photos of Ailey...looks like I was wrong. Keep you posted! In the meantime...trying to keep my sense of humor!

The End....The Beginning.... And my OCD 2 Year Old!

Boy oh boy oh boy this girl! So Trey swears that it was, indeed, this painful the entire final month of my pregnancy with Joey. I remember only the last week being this torturous, but he swears it was all month. The whole concept of building character and "not complaining" is out the window. I don't mind pain so long as it's for a good cause....like I am in labor and about to meet my daughter! I know it's been a long 9 months, but I have to say, second pregnancies definitely seem to go by faster. I can't believe I am sitting here face to face with my due date! It could be any day now, but I bet I've got at least another good 2 weeks in me. When it's all said and done, there really is NO SCIENCE to this whole "when will baby come?" predicament. Hell, it could be another 4 weeks! You never know what your little one's plans are.
Today we celebrated Joey's 2nd birthday. (Glad she didn't come today! You can't mix monster truck birthday cake with Disney princess paper plates and napkins now, can you!?) I can't believe my baby is 2! He even seemed older today. Just something about the way he behaved all day long....less whiny, more independent, confident, so happy... I'm going to cry. I am so proud of him.
You know how they say that we can pass our faults on to our children? Well, I have to share that my 2 year old is a bit OCD. I never realized that I even was OCD (to a degree) until I started seeing Joey to do certain things! Some examples to entertain you:
-After going pee pee in the potty he requests just a single square of t.p. which he uses to "dab". Should you give him more he will fuss over the excess squares and tear off only the 1 square he "needs".
-When going down for a nap or being put to bed for the night he needs to have his blankets "on him". That is his request, "Mommy, I want it ON ME!" This means gathering up all blankets in the crib, him laying down, and the blankets being spread over him 1-by-1. When this is not done he cries and refuses to go to sleep.
-He will often request juice. (I water it WAY down...) After receiving his juice he always takes a few sips and then hands it back to me. I will set it down near him so that he can have more when he wants. After I set it down he picks it up and says, "Here Mama!" and will move it to a different spot 4 inches away from where I set it! It's a little ridiculous, but he is pretty serious about it and feels it is important.
Those are just a few of what I now call his "Joeyism's". It's so strange to watch my child obsess over little things he deems largely important. I don't know how I passed that on to him...I definitely don't react to the extreme that he does about things, but whether he has witnessed it in me or not, he's genetically got some OCD in his little bones! I wish he was more laid back, for his own sake, but whatcha going to do!?
Well, that's about a wrap for now. I do believe the next time I hop back on my blog spot I will be nursing a beautiful newborn named Ailey Grace Montgomery. I love her name:) Hope all is well with you and yours.
ME

O-HI-O

This labor day weekend we packed up our little Honda CR-V for what was really and truly our last road trip in the faithful vehicle. I had so many family members in Ohio (where all my extended family lives) who had never even met my husband and children. It was time! Grandmother and Grandpa are "getting up there" and I really wanted to spend some quality time with them. I hadn't seen my aunts in years. Additionally, I really wanted to meet my newly discovered biological sister, Marla! All of the visits were too short, but seeing everyone was so wonderful. As an adult and parent I have a new perspective and appreciation for my extended family. I found in spending time with everyone I really missed them. They have, after all, known me my whole life. It was also great watching my children interact with everyone, my grandparents in particular.


It was a lot of work getting my family of five packed, up to Ohio, and back. It was hot living in my grandparent's house for 3 days without air-conditioning (I still don't understand how 88 degrees feels cold to them, but they are my elders...I won't argue it!). The kids were very tired of being in the car for so many hours. BUT, all in all, it was a wonderful time of love and family. I've been inspired to go up and visit at least once a year. I hope that works out!!!!

"MY thing"

A couple of weekends ago while I was at work Trey surprised me by purchasing a few of my midwifery study books. I am SO enjoying studying! It's so easy because I am so crazy about the subject. Reading a book by Sheila Kitzinger to start off with. I know that I am doing the right thing both in becoming a midwife and in having a home birth. As I read her words I am not only educated, but also find myself smiling as I agree with all that she has to say. She is honest and open in informing her readers about all of their options when it comes to their birth, but also makes it very clear that healthy women with normal, low-risk, pregnancies do not have to go to the hospital for care. I am so inspired. It's also so nice to have something that is all my own. Trey has work and his Men's Health, Geology magazines, and (Lord help me) now it's football season, the kids have me running them around to all their interests, and now I have something that is mine...besides my family's needs which I am also very passionate about. :)
As for my own pregnancy, I cannot wait to find out tomorrow whether or not she has turned. I feel like she has. I am not feeling her big head at the top of my uterus. I am not feeling kicking on my cervix. I DO feel a lot of low pressure and occasionally some mild cramping. These little pains and annoyances make me smile. My body is getting ready. Envisioning her head down and putting pressure on my cervix makes my anticipation for my labor journey grow!
Mostly, if I had to guess I would have never guessed I would get to have a daughter and I am so incredibly excited to meet her. I am so excited to give her the gift of a natural birth. I can't wait to have her on my chest taking her first breaths and staring down at her in amazement. They say babies born naturally and in home environments tend to be a lot more alert, too...so I hope to experience that. (Cool book, "The Amazing Newborn" Klaus & Klaus)
That's all for now. About 7-8 weeks to go! While I hope they fly by, I also hope I find time to appreciate these final moments of my final pregnancy and of her being mine, mine, all mine!

technology!! grrr...

So last night my dear husband decided to do me a "favor" and upgrade all my settings on my Blackberry. I really didn't know what that meant, but he assured me that when he was done I would have a more efficient phone. This morning I woke up to a text message. T9...where did you go!? Keyboard of choice...gone! Preferred font...bye bye! As the day has gone on and I have tried to use my phone for various activities I am accustomed to using, it has been one dysfunction after another! (By the way, not to sound too Jerry Seinfeld, but what's up with the spelling of dysfunction? It's totally dysfunctional! The pre-text "dis" (which mean "to not to" ________, like discontinued: not continued) is spelled wrong! Why not disfunctional?) The most recent disappointment and frenzy of frustration has been with my mobile facebook. TOTALLY different version than I was using. How quickly can we change technology? My brand new Storm is totally out-dated...I just know it! It was probably out-date when I bought it. It was probably out-dated when the thing was shipped to the Verizon store for retail sale! I completely understand my grandparents now. I always wondered why they never ever even made any serious attempts to associate with a PC. I get it now....a typewriter has always done the trick...why mess with that!? (Okay, partly joking there...we all know that a PC has far more uses than word processing...but you get the picture.) Okay, that's my rant for now. I will try and be more open-minded when it comes to technology, but gee it isn't easy, is it!?