Doctor's are not God...

Tomorrow I have to go see the doctor who will do Ailey's biophysical profile and confirm that she is safe and sound inside me at 42 weeks gestation. My midwife has warned..."the doctor will recommend an induction as soon as possible". Midwife feels comfortable letting me go to 43 weeks if all looks good, and I trust her, but as soon as that doctor announces her "professional opinion" that word becomes the law. Even if all the tests come back picture perfect, doctor will be scheduling me for induction. What does that mean? Well, fluorescent lights, technology, monitors, increased risk for pitocin=c-section, etc. It means after birth my baby will be taken from me and rubbed with those rough hospital towels I hate. It means that I will have nurses bossing me around and telling me what I can and can't do...holding me hostage in their hospital when all I want is to lay in my own bed and breastfeed my little girl. I will turn down every I.V., every single form of pain management that they offer me. I will shoot the light bulbs out of the ceiling and crush the hospital bed so I can squat when I need to squat and walk when I need to walk. I will refuse pitocin and internal fetal monitoring. The only thing I am agreeing to is a membrane rupture. If they are going to make me do this, I am going to make it as homebirth as I can! I won't be entirely defeated.....

In the meantime, it's only Thursday. I've got one last natural induction resort....castor oil again, in higher dosages, using a recipe from the midwife....and prayer. Lot's and lot's of prayer.