I have this sister-in-law and she's incredibly passionate about things that really matter in this life. Recently I casually asked how things were going with their adoption of an Ethiopian baby. She started filling me in. She kept talking and stupid me kept asking and asking and asking. Finally she referenced some blogs about families who adopted and said I could learn a lot more from them. She volunteered to e-mail me the links. "No! I'm too afraid to look any further in to it!" We have four children already, you see. I was supposed to feel "done" after the birth of our last daughter, but that wasnt/isn't working for me. I had just gotten dear hubby to agree to a 5th bundle of joy, he would NEVER go for adopting on top of that! No, looking further into the world of adoption would not do me any good.
A few days passed since mine and super sister-in-laws conversation. Feeling a little brave and overwhelmed with curiosity, I YouTube searched, "Ethiopian Gotcha Day". These are videos of parents journeying to Ethiopia to bring their precious, no longer orphaned, children HOME. I couldn't stop watching. I made hubby watch a number of particularly sweet ones....which made him turn to me with my eyes full of tears and say, "you arent getting any serious ideas, are you?". I lied and told him I was just curious.
This led to me texting my SIL....."Hey, will you go ahead and e-mail me those links?" This made her laugh.....she knows me well and was probably expecting this. So she mailed them. So I read them. I laughed, I cried, and I felt something deep within me saying that adopting would be a part of my life....my family's life.
Well, this could never happen! I told my stupid big heart to cut it out and get over this unreasonable idea. The more and more I prayed to God to take this new desire away, the stronger it grew. What an annoying concept. I found myself on my knees, my heart breaking for the orphans of Ethiopia. I had done my research. I could not pretend I didnt know what was going on over there. I was led to Proverbs 24:11....
Rescue the perishing,
do not hesitate to step in and help.
If you say "that is none of my business" will that get you off the hook?
Someone is watching you closely, you know-
Someone not impressed with weak excuses.
Okay! I hear you!
BUT remember? My sweet husband, Trey? The one who dreams of retirement and getting the kids out of the house?
I prayed that God would give me the right words at just the right time to impact Trey the same way I was being impacted...and He did! As I told my husband what I felt called to do, he listened and did not judge. His heart was open and he saw what my heart looked like as I told him I knew how crazy it sounded....but that despite the craziness, I knew our family could do it....could bless and be blessed through adoption. Then....he agreed:)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
House selling, hunting, and a little more waiting than anything else...
I really need to let my realtor know I no longer want to be notified via email by central showing. I get far more emails each day than I do phone calls which means that each time the email notification goes off my heart skips a beat. Why? Because hearing from central showing, so far, has meant that I have exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes tops to prepare my home to be sold. The moments following the alert go something like this:
Call central showing to confirm in the MOST FAKE VOICE that, "sure, we'd LOVE to show the house today and we are ready!"...lies! Hang-up and get Joey occupied with the simplest, least messy, activity possible. Movie or today, I let him ride his tricycle in the garage with the garage door down! Pray that Ailey will nap or not scream like crazy as I start by making the bed and then go into the kitchen to empty the trash, notice the dishes in the sink, do the dishes, get back to the trash, go to empty the trash in the bathroom, end up bleaching the tub, go back for trash can, notice the mirror, go to get windex from the kitchen, notice the stove top needs cleaning, clean the stove top, get the windex, windex the mirror, finally take that trash from the bathroom outside, open the van doors, leave front door open, start throwing laundry in the van, throw things in a bag to leave the house, go to get the vaccum, notice dusty televisions, dust televisions, finally vaccum and so on and so on until both of my children are screaming of neglect and I am panting and searching frantically through the diaper bag I just crammed full of "leaving the house essentials" for my inhaler. WHEW! This will be the death of me. When we are moving all these things down to our home in Tega Cay it will all be worth it.
Here's the real kicker about this morning's "showing episode"....no one showed.
Call central showing to confirm in the MOST FAKE VOICE that, "sure, we'd LOVE to show the house today and we are ready!"...lies! Hang-up and get Joey occupied with the simplest, least messy, activity possible. Movie or today, I let him ride his tricycle in the garage with the garage door down! Pray that Ailey will nap or not scream like crazy as I start by making the bed and then go into the kitchen to empty the trash, notice the dishes in the sink, do the dishes, get back to the trash, go to empty the trash in the bathroom, end up bleaching the tub, go back for trash can, notice the mirror, go to get windex from the kitchen, notice the stove top needs cleaning, clean the stove top, get the windex, windex the mirror, finally take that trash from the bathroom outside, open the van doors, leave front door open, start throwing laundry in the van, throw things in a bag to leave the house, go to get the vaccum, notice dusty televisions, dust televisions, finally vaccum and so on and so on until both of my children are screaming of neglect and I am panting and searching frantically through the diaper bag I just crammed full of "leaving the house essentials" for my inhaler. WHEW! This will be the death of me. When we are moving all these things down to our home in Tega Cay it will all be worth it.
Here's the real kicker about this morning's "showing episode"....no one showed.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The "What's New With Everyone Update"
Well, let's start with Trey.
Trey is busy busy busy with work. He comes home and his brain is so full of WORK that he can't do simple things like make coffee, change diapers, put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll....it's really bad. "I'm fuzzy" he says. Yeah...if that's what you want to call it. I am surprising him next weekend with two nights of hubby/wifey date time. He needs to GET OUT and get his mind off of training classes and "numbers"...he's ALWAYS talking about d@#$ numbers! He does a great job, but he's an even better husband and Daddy when he has the energy left over. I am very proud of my husband, but I want him to RELAX.
Next, Carly. TWELVE. Today she came home from school and tells me that her and her friend are making plans to go see "The Lovely Bones" this weekend. Casually I ask her what this movie is rated. Her reply: "PG-13. And I am 12, so...yano....". Very rarely does Carly give me attitude but she did there! Instantly I hopped on the internet to study up on how many stars for family friendliness "The Lovely Bones" received.....2/5. GREAT. So Trey and I talked and talked, watched the preview, talked with Carly, and finally decided that since this friends Mother would be attending with them that she could go. Afterward we were kicking ourselves. We can't go back on our answer, but I think that WE ARE SO UNPREPARED TO RAISE A TEENAGER! Someone help us...please. Carly is a good girl, but we should have had the parental confidence to give her a big NO on this request. But then again...she would have seen the flick regardless, all she has to do is wait until next weekend when surely her Mother would have gladly taken her. UGH. Today's challenge aside, Carly continues to be a straight A student and a great little person. Her heart and soul are so sweet. Watching her enter into her junior high years has really made Trey and I nervous. I think we are also feeling inspired to begin a family Bible study at the end of each day just like the Duggars do. Note to self: research family group studies online.
Conner: Ah, Conner man! What a cool kid. Conner is in the second half of 1st grade. He's had such a great year. His teacher....LOVE HER. We are currently planning a laser tag party for his 7th birthday which is a short 3 weeks away! This birthday means that I have been in Conner's life for over half of it! He still doesn't believe me when I tell him he was only 3 years old when Daddy and I started dating. He feels like my own....;)
Joey.....MY TERRIBLE TWO. I hate seeing him this way...kicking, screaming, arguing every little thing I say to him. I have been spending a LOT of time with John Rosemond (well, his books that is...) reading about this crucial time period where Joey is realizing that the world does not revolve around him. It's tough. At his core, Joey is a lover. I still get little glimpses of who Joey was up until this past week....I miss my sweet boy, but I know he will be back.
Ailey: SO SWEET. Ailey is the easiest baby. She constantly inspires me to reproduce. I am not done, so for those of you who were wondering....so long as God wills it, we will see another baby Montgomery around this house. Ailey sleeps all night, smiles constantly, and it is easy to figure out what she needs when she actually does cry. She loves her older siblings and is a MOMMY'S GIRL. I planned it that way. :) Additionally, she IS OFF THE CHARTS FOR WEIGHT AND LENGTH. We affectionately call her our "chunk of love".
As for me, Mommy and Wifey, I am hanging in there. This past week was REALLY challenging. I am working on myself a lot...trying to speak softly always, trying to run less on emotion and more on reason, trying to put my marriage ahead of my children....being challenged by it all. I have also been very busy getting our house ready for the market. We are Tega Cay bound. I can't wait to raise my sweet family at the lake surrounded by trees, parks, and the best schools in the state.
Well, that's a quick UP TO DATE UPDATE on the Montgomerys! Loving one another, loving life, loving telling YOU all about it! ta ta!
Trey is busy busy busy with work. He comes home and his brain is so full of WORK that he can't do simple things like make coffee, change diapers, put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll....it's really bad. "I'm fuzzy" he says. Yeah...if that's what you want to call it. I am surprising him next weekend with two nights of hubby/wifey date time. He needs to GET OUT and get his mind off of training classes and "numbers"...he's ALWAYS talking about d@#$ numbers! He does a great job, but he's an even better husband and Daddy when he has the energy left over. I am very proud of my husband, but I want him to RELAX.
Next, Carly. TWELVE. Today she came home from school and tells me that her and her friend are making plans to go see "The Lovely Bones" this weekend. Casually I ask her what this movie is rated. Her reply: "PG-13. And I am 12, so...yano....". Very rarely does Carly give me attitude but she did there! Instantly I hopped on the internet to study up on how many stars for family friendliness "The Lovely Bones" received.....2/5. GREAT. So Trey and I talked and talked, watched the preview, talked with Carly, and finally decided that since this friends Mother would be attending with them that she could go. Afterward we were kicking ourselves. We can't go back on our answer, but I think that WE ARE SO UNPREPARED TO RAISE A TEENAGER! Someone help us...please. Carly is a good girl, but we should have had the parental confidence to give her a big NO on this request. But then again...she would have seen the flick regardless, all she has to do is wait until next weekend when surely her Mother would have gladly taken her. UGH. Today's challenge aside, Carly continues to be a straight A student and a great little person. Her heart and soul are so sweet. Watching her enter into her junior high years has really made Trey and I nervous. I think we are also feeling inspired to begin a family Bible study at the end of each day just like the Duggars do. Note to self: research family group studies online.
Conner: Ah, Conner man! What a cool kid. Conner is in the second half of 1st grade. He's had such a great year. His teacher....LOVE HER. We are currently planning a laser tag party for his 7th birthday which is a short 3 weeks away! This birthday means that I have been in Conner's life for over half of it! He still doesn't believe me when I tell him he was only 3 years old when Daddy and I started dating. He feels like my own....;)
Joey.....MY TERRIBLE TWO. I hate seeing him this way...kicking, screaming, arguing every little thing I say to him. I have been spending a LOT of time with John Rosemond (well, his books that is...) reading about this crucial time period where Joey is realizing that the world does not revolve around him. It's tough. At his core, Joey is a lover. I still get little glimpses of who Joey was up until this past week....I miss my sweet boy, but I know he will be back.
Ailey: SO SWEET. Ailey is the easiest baby. She constantly inspires me to reproduce. I am not done, so for those of you who were wondering....so long as God wills it, we will see another baby Montgomery around this house. Ailey sleeps all night, smiles constantly, and it is easy to figure out what she needs when she actually does cry. She loves her older siblings and is a MOMMY'S GIRL. I planned it that way. :) Additionally, she IS OFF THE CHARTS FOR WEIGHT AND LENGTH. We affectionately call her our "chunk of love".
As for me, Mommy and Wifey, I am hanging in there. This past week was REALLY challenging. I am working on myself a lot...trying to speak softly always, trying to run less on emotion and more on reason, trying to put my marriage ahead of my children....being challenged by it all. I have also been very busy getting our house ready for the market. We are Tega Cay bound. I can't wait to raise my sweet family at the lake surrounded by trees, parks, and the best schools in the state.
Well, that's a quick UP TO DATE UPDATE on the Montgomerys! Loving one another, loving life, loving telling YOU all about it! ta ta!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
oh boy....The "I AM SO DONE!" Feeling...
Oh dear blog...it has been a while!
So, as of today Ailey is 2 months old! As most parents will say, it does feel like she's always been a part of our family. She is an amazing addition!
They say, "your children are a reflection of you". I have to say it's very true that Joey's personality very much reflects how I was as a new Mommy with him. He's a bit OCD, very much a perfectionist, extremely social, and has a touch of anxiety in everything he does...very "type A". With Ailey, I have been so peaceful. I have never once found myself in a bought of anxiety and frustration with a screaming newborn baby. She is so good! She goes with the flow, loves to cuddle, and just has the sweetest soul. You can see in her eyes that she is gentle and that she loves me. The experience of baby #2 has most definitely been different...and wonderful....and not "better" than my first (because NOTHING tops the birth of your first!), but definitely wonderfully different.
I love being a Mommy. I love having babies. I am addicted to it. It's my LIFE and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Joey is such a joy (when he's not having a typical "terrible two" meltdown) and every day he amazes me with something new. He talks non-stop, is so smart, and wow am I EVER BRAGGING! Getting to the point, as in awe as I am with Joey and with as easy and wonderful as the experience has been with Ailey, it definitely doesn't do anything to make me "feel done".
Oh how quickly the memories of constant nausea, vomiting, and NATURAL LABOR fade away. Oh sweet oxytocin! You are so perfect at erasing all the struggle and shining light on only the simply indescribable feelings of having a baby! Yes, it is all worth it!
Trey's words: "I knew I should have videotapped it all last time!" (HA!) I would have made excuses calling my former pregnant self "such a drama queen" and insisting that it "wasn't that bad". In my heart of hearts I know that it was "that bad", but I don't care. I want another baby!
Will I get one? I don't know the answer to that. But let me say this, reader; If you are questioning whether or not to take the baby route, whether or not you can handle it, if it is or is not worth it....I assure you, there is nothing in this life as wonderful as bringing another being into the world and experiencing the LOVE and happiness that being will bring to your marriage, family, extended family, friends, etc.
To me, my children are everything:)
So, as of today Ailey is 2 months old! As most parents will say, it does feel like she's always been a part of our family. She is an amazing addition!
They say, "your children are a reflection of you". I have to say it's very true that Joey's personality very much reflects how I was as a new Mommy with him. He's a bit OCD, very much a perfectionist, extremely social, and has a touch of anxiety in everything he does...very "type A". With Ailey, I have been so peaceful. I have never once found myself in a bought of anxiety and frustration with a screaming newborn baby. She is so good! She goes with the flow, loves to cuddle, and just has the sweetest soul. You can see in her eyes that she is gentle and that she loves me. The experience of baby #2 has most definitely been different...and wonderful....and not "better" than my first (because NOTHING tops the birth of your first!), but definitely wonderfully different.
I love being a Mommy. I love having babies. I am addicted to it. It's my LIFE and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Joey is such a joy (when he's not having a typical "terrible two" meltdown) and every day he amazes me with something new. He talks non-stop, is so smart, and wow am I EVER BRAGGING! Getting to the point, as in awe as I am with Joey and with as easy and wonderful as the experience has been with Ailey, it definitely doesn't do anything to make me "feel done".
Oh how quickly the memories of constant nausea, vomiting, and NATURAL LABOR fade away. Oh sweet oxytocin! You are so perfect at erasing all the struggle and shining light on only the simply indescribable feelings of having a baby! Yes, it is all worth it!
Trey's words: "I knew I should have videotapped it all last time!" (HA!) I would have made excuses calling my former pregnant self "such a drama queen" and insisting that it "wasn't that bad". In my heart of hearts I know that it was "that bad", but I don't care. I want another baby!
Will I get one? I don't know the answer to that. But let me say this, reader; If you are questioning whether or not to take the baby route, whether or not you can handle it, if it is or is not worth it....I assure you, there is nothing in this life as wonderful as bringing another being into the world and experiencing the LOVE and happiness that being will bring to your marriage, family, extended family, friends, etc.
To me, my children are everything:)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Ailey Grace's Birth Story
So there I was, 42 weeks pregnant...exactly. I went back with my midwife and re-worked the dates and did the math over and over again. I saw the OB and had an ultrasound done...no question about it...I was definitely 2 weeks overdue. My long awaited home birth was at stake.
I was tired of being pregnant, of course, but knew that baby was safe and sound inside me. The problem? Well, getting a doctor to approve the continuance of the pregnancy (midwife's requirement) and to then agree to deliver me at some point after 42 weeks is impossible to do. Fortunately, Dr. Jane Helwig blessed me with 2 extra days before scheduling my induction for 11.10.09 (at 42 weeks and 2 days).
On Sunday November 8, 2009 my midwife called in the morning. We decided it was time to get serious about any and all methods of natural induction.
"Okay, let's have you start pumping again. I will come over with some blue and black cohosh and I will do another membrane sweep to see if that does the trick. Keep doing squats and walk around...don't stop moving."
(If you are reading this please know that the above listed methods of natural induction will, at very least, seriously mess with your body. I don't recommend trying anything to get baby out until 40+ weeks!)
I did as she instructed. She came over and did the sweep, then left for the birth center. The "Charlotte Mommies" were coming to visit the center and she had to get ready.
Of course, as soon as she left, the contractions picked up. I wouldn't say that one particular method was working. I do, however, think that the membrane sweep may have done the trick.
My midwife sent another midwife by to check in on me. She hung out with me for a few contractions. My midwife came back and I asked her to check me. I was at 6 cms! Hallelujah! (I was, and had been, 4-5 cms for over a week!) At 1:00 on the dot the contractions picked up and my water broke. I was in a lot of pain, but didn't care because I was so excited about having that confirmation of real and true labor.
Barefooted my midwives and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I continued to walk through each contraction feeling strong and energized. My baby was coming! I was so happy! The weather was beautiful. We looked at the English lady's rose garden, walked up hill, downhill, and I tried to smile at my neighbors as not to scare them:)
The previous Monday (11.2.09) I had all my family over as I false labored for an entire day. That was a little much and so my midwife and I decided we were going to wait a bit before we called family this time. Sometimes women under pressure who are being watched can't get into their own natural groove and labor delays can happen. So....I continued to contract and laugh between contractions. I ate some apples and popcorn. I bounced on the birthing ball. The midwives left the room and Trey and I were laughing about something when suddenly a contraction hit me...hard! I stood up and lost a LOT of amniotic fluid. "Get me to the bathroom!" I yelled to Trey. I barely made it in, but the carpet was rescued. I squealed out in pain for the first time and my body naturally got into a low squat. The midwives came running back in. Trey held me up under one arm, one midwife under the other arm, and the other midwife looked at Trey and I heard her say in a very serious tone, "Go call your Mom's."
The bath water was running warm and I was stripping off wet clothes. Getting in my bath, my "natural epidural", felt so good! I regained my focus and breathed through the contractions. I was still happy, making jokes between contractions. Trey came back and I found I didn't want him touching me when I was in pain. I wanted to be holding a midwife's hand during each contraction. I wanted him there, but just as a comforting, strong, presence. My mother-in-law soon appeared in the bathroom doorway. Two minutes later my Mom came in. She had tears in her eyes and told me, "Your sister is on her way down from school right now!" That made me super excited. My Dad and brother, Bryan, were there to take Joey as soon as he got up from his nap...at least that was the plan. Instead, I started getting loud and they woke him up and headed out. Haley, my sister-in-law, stayed when Bryan left. I was so happy to have all these wonderful, important, women there, but as the pain worsened, I found that their laughter and excitement were very distraction and sadly sent them out of the room.
About 4:00 things were really getting tough. I was getting less and less of a break between contractions. The midwives had me get out of the bath so I could use gravity to my advantage a bit. It was so difficult because I just wanted to be in a comfortable spot and labor and every time that I went to change positions I wound up contracting someplace I didn't want to be. One time I wound up on the bedroom floor lodged in between a plastic laundry basket full of birth supplies and a plastic drawer full of baby clothes. I had nothing and no one to hold onto and I was so uncomfortable. "I don't like it here! I don't like it here! Get me out of this position!" I wanted back in the bath, but they said I needed a break from the water so I noted my pillow on the bed and dove to cuddle up with it quick before another contraction came. This is when "whale song" started.
It was approaching 5:00 at this point. This labor was fast and furious! I didn't like contracting out of the water, but I felt stuck on the bed at this point since the contractions were so close together. I found myself in constant pain. Little did I know, my body was trying to transition. "Hospital now! Hospital now! I can't! I can't! Listen to me! I am tired. I need a break. I just need five minutes to regain my energy. Help me! TREY! Hospital....waooooo...waoooooooo....". I sang the "whale song" as I later found out everyone called it for what seemed to be an eternity. In the seconds between contractions I begged for transport. I kept thinking I was a "stupid woman". Then, my midwives broke the news....I was not effectively laboring. All my energy was coming out in a high pitched noise. They told me it was time to walk the stairs. I told them they were CRAZY!
Somehow between the two of them and Trey, they got me outside the bedroom (they had all the family members go outside) and onto the stairs where I had a contraction and shouted, "I dont' want to contract here! I don't want to be here! Hospital NOW! TREY MONTGOMERY! HOSPITAL NOW!" With one midwife on each side they had me walking circles around the couch and reminded me how badly I wanted this home birth. I had gone 2 weeks overdue to achieve this! Trey reminded me how many times I told him I would never forgive him if he took me to the hospital when I was begging for it in labor. I regretted doing that! I got myself back through the bedroom doors when my Mom came in....she got in my face as I begged for the hospital and said, "NO! You have wanted this home birth for nine months! Now you do what they tell you to do and breathe and get the baby out!"
For some reason my Mother's "talk" really worked for me. I crawled back onto the bed, calmed down, and breathed. Breathed. Breathed. Someone rocked my hips and the midwives talked me through breathing and loosening my bottom. I was so uptight. Fear had taken over my body and it was stopping labor from progressing. They kept telling me to get on my hands and knees...I kept refusing. They listened to for the heartbeat (as they had been doing through the entire labor) and became very serious. "Jennifer, you have got to get on your hands and knees NOW!" I started to argue again until I saw them taking the oxygen tank out of a big suitcase. OH HELL! I got up on all fours super fast and grabbed the mask breathing deeply. They checked for the heartbeat again and then checked me. I was grasping the headboard screaming as serious as EVER, "hospital NOW! NOW! TREY!"
"Jennifer you are at 9 cms, you can't go to the hospital you will have the baby in the car." Then, I got the grunting/pushing urge. I grunted and pushed and grunted and pushed and then got the exciting news that I could get back in the tub. AMEN! Back in the tub I was in still in so much pain. I was hitting the wall trying to make the pain stop, but the only way to stop it was to work through it. Suddenly I was pushing and getting directions on breathing. It felt so good to push! I loved pushing. Her head came out. Everyone announced that her head came out, but I already knew that. They told me I could touch her head, but I didn't want to because I was so focused on delivering the shoulders. I had to wait for another contraction because I couldn't push without it. It came and I delivered the shoulders and the rest of her just slipped out. Midwife put her up on my chest and I DID IT! I DID IT! She was very blue in the face but I knew she was okay because she was breathing and rooting. I rubbed her little body and then warm towels were placed over us. I spoke to her and she became more alert with my every word. Trey was beaming and he was so excited. The midwives gave us a little space and our Mom's and Haley and Stephanie came rushing in. Everyone was so happy and celebrating. I was SO HIGH on love! It was amazing and the word amazing isn't even enough to describe that moment.
Ailey never left me. It was exactly what I wanted. I delivered the placenta (which felt SO strange!) and then, after the cord finished pulsating, Trey cut it. Ailey and I got out of the tub, dried off, and went to cuddle in bed...MY OWN bed. The midwives were in the other room eating spaghetti...totally giving us our space. It was nothing like being in the hospital. It was so warm and happy and beautiful. Family came in and out of the room to visit us and my brother came back with Joey. It was so amazing when he met his sister. He loved her instantly showering her with hugs and kisses. We watched as my midwife weighed and measured my beautiful little girl. 8 pounds, 10 ounces, 21 inches long! She latched on after that and had her first meal of colostrum. After she learned to latch, that was all she was interested in doing. :)
I was still in the tub with Ailey when I thanked my midwife for not allowing me to transport. I mean, really, she couldn't because Ailey would have come in the car, but still. I am so thankful I got my home birth, and even more so, my happy, healthy, gorgeous, baby girl.
I was tired of being pregnant, of course, but knew that baby was safe and sound inside me. The problem? Well, getting a doctor to approve the continuance of the pregnancy (midwife's requirement) and to then agree to deliver me at some point after 42 weeks is impossible to do. Fortunately, Dr. Jane Helwig blessed me with 2 extra days before scheduling my induction for 11.10.09 (at 42 weeks and 2 days).
On Sunday November 8, 2009 my midwife called in the morning. We decided it was time to get serious about any and all methods of natural induction.
"Okay, let's have you start pumping again. I will come over with some blue and black cohosh and I will do another membrane sweep to see if that does the trick. Keep doing squats and walk around...don't stop moving."
(If you are reading this please know that the above listed methods of natural induction will, at very least, seriously mess with your body. I don't recommend trying anything to get baby out until 40+ weeks!)
I did as she instructed. She came over and did the sweep, then left for the birth center. The "Charlotte Mommies" were coming to visit the center and she had to get ready.
Of course, as soon as she left, the contractions picked up. I wouldn't say that one particular method was working. I do, however, think that the membrane sweep may have done the trick.
My midwife sent another midwife by to check in on me. She hung out with me for a few contractions. My midwife came back and I asked her to check me. I was at 6 cms! Hallelujah! (I was, and had been, 4-5 cms for over a week!) At 1:00 on the dot the contractions picked up and my water broke. I was in a lot of pain, but didn't care because I was so excited about having that confirmation of real and true labor.
Barefooted my midwives and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I continued to walk through each contraction feeling strong and energized. My baby was coming! I was so happy! The weather was beautiful. We looked at the English lady's rose garden, walked up hill, downhill, and I tried to smile at my neighbors as not to scare them:)
The previous Monday (11.2.09) I had all my family over as I false labored for an entire day. That was a little much and so my midwife and I decided we were going to wait a bit before we called family this time. Sometimes women under pressure who are being watched can't get into their own natural groove and labor delays can happen. So....I continued to contract and laugh between contractions. I ate some apples and popcorn. I bounced on the birthing ball. The midwives left the room and Trey and I were laughing about something when suddenly a contraction hit me...hard! I stood up and lost a LOT of amniotic fluid. "Get me to the bathroom!" I yelled to Trey. I barely made it in, but the carpet was rescued. I squealed out in pain for the first time and my body naturally got into a low squat. The midwives came running back in. Trey held me up under one arm, one midwife under the other arm, and the other midwife looked at Trey and I heard her say in a very serious tone, "Go call your Mom's."
The bath water was running warm and I was stripping off wet clothes. Getting in my bath, my "natural epidural", felt so good! I regained my focus and breathed through the contractions. I was still happy, making jokes between contractions. Trey came back and I found I didn't want him touching me when I was in pain. I wanted to be holding a midwife's hand during each contraction. I wanted him there, but just as a comforting, strong, presence. My mother-in-law soon appeared in the bathroom doorway. Two minutes later my Mom came in. She had tears in her eyes and told me, "Your sister is on her way down from school right now!" That made me super excited. My Dad and brother, Bryan, were there to take Joey as soon as he got up from his nap...at least that was the plan. Instead, I started getting loud and they woke him up and headed out. Haley, my sister-in-law, stayed when Bryan left. I was so happy to have all these wonderful, important, women there, but as the pain worsened, I found that their laughter and excitement were very distraction and sadly sent them out of the room.
About 4:00 things were really getting tough. I was getting less and less of a break between contractions. The midwives had me get out of the bath so I could use gravity to my advantage a bit. It was so difficult because I just wanted to be in a comfortable spot and labor and every time that I went to change positions I wound up contracting someplace I didn't want to be. One time I wound up on the bedroom floor lodged in between a plastic laundry basket full of birth supplies and a plastic drawer full of baby clothes. I had nothing and no one to hold onto and I was so uncomfortable. "I don't like it here! I don't like it here! Get me out of this position!" I wanted back in the bath, but they said I needed a break from the water so I noted my pillow on the bed and dove to cuddle up with it quick before another contraction came. This is when "whale song" started.
It was approaching 5:00 at this point. This labor was fast and furious! I didn't like contracting out of the water, but I felt stuck on the bed at this point since the contractions were so close together. I found myself in constant pain. Little did I know, my body was trying to transition. "Hospital now! Hospital now! I can't! I can't! Listen to me! I am tired. I need a break. I just need five minutes to regain my energy. Help me! TREY! Hospital....waooooo...waoooooooo....". I sang the "whale song" as I later found out everyone called it for what seemed to be an eternity. In the seconds between contractions I begged for transport. I kept thinking I was a "stupid woman". Then, my midwives broke the news....I was not effectively laboring. All my energy was coming out in a high pitched noise. They told me it was time to walk the stairs. I told them they were CRAZY!
Somehow between the two of them and Trey, they got me outside the bedroom (they had all the family members go outside) and onto the stairs where I had a contraction and shouted, "I dont' want to contract here! I don't want to be here! Hospital NOW! TREY MONTGOMERY! HOSPITAL NOW!" With one midwife on each side they had me walking circles around the couch and reminded me how badly I wanted this home birth. I had gone 2 weeks overdue to achieve this! Trey reminded me how many times I told him I would never forgive him if he took me to the hospital when I was begging for it in labor. I regretted doing that! I got myself back through the bedroom doors when my Mom came in....she got in my face as I begged for the hospital and said, "NO! You have wanted this home birth for nine months! Now you do what they tell you to do and breathe and get the baby out!"
For some reason my Mother's "talk" really worked for me. I crawled back onto the bed, calmed down, and breathed. Breathed. Breathed. Someone rocked my hips and the midwives talked me through breathing and loosening my bottom. I was so uptight. Fear had taken over my body and it was stopping labor from progressing. They kept telling me to get on my hands and knees...I kept refusing. They listened to for the heartbeat (as they had been doing through the entire labor) and became very serious. "Jennifer, you have got to get on your hands and knees NOW!" I started to argue again until I saw them taking the oxygen tank out of a big suitcase. OH HELL! I got up on all fours super fast and grabbed the mask breathing deeply. They checked for the heartbeat again and then checked me. I was grasping the headboard screaming as serious as EVER, "hospital NOW! NOW! TREY!"
"Jennifer you are at 9 cms, you can't go to the hospital you will have the baby in the car." Then, I got the grunting/pushing urge. I grunted and pushed and grunted and pushed and then got the exciting news that I could get back in the tub. AMEN! Back in the tub I was in still in so much pain. I was hitting the wall trying to make the pain stop, but the only way to stop it was to work through it. Suddenly I was pushing and getting directions on breathing. It felt so good to push! I loved pushing. Her head came out. Everyone announced that her head came out, but I already knew that. They told me I could touch her head, but I didn't want to because I was so focused on delivering the shoulders. I had to wait for another contraction because I couldn't push without it. It came and I delivered the shoulders and the rest of her just slipped out. Midwife put her up on my chest and I DID IT! I DID IT! She was very blue in the face but I knew she was okay because she was breathing and rooting. I rubbed her little body and then warm towels were placed over us. I spoke to her and she became more alert with my every word. Trey was beaming and he was so excited. The midwives gave us a little space and our Mom's and Haley and Stephanie came rushing in. Everyone was so happy and celebrating. I was SO HIGH on love! It was amazing and the word amazing isn't even enough to describe that moment.
Ailey never left me. It was exactly what I wanted. I delivered the placenta (which felt SO strange!) and then, after the cord finished pulsating, Trey cut it. Ailey and I got out of the tub, dried off, and went to cuddle in bed...MY OWN bed. The midwives were in the other room eating spaghetti...totally giving us our space. It was nothing like being in the hospital. It was so warm and happy and beautiful. Family came in and out of the room to visit us and my brother came back with Joey. It was so amazing when he met his sister. He loved her instantly showering her with hugs and kisses. We watched as my midwife weighed and measured my beautiful little girl. 8 pounds, 10 ounces, 21 inches long! She latched on after that and had her first meal of colostrum. After she learned to latch, that was all she was interested in doing. :)
I was still in the tub with Ailey when I thanked my midwife for not allowing me to transport. I mean, really, she couldn't because Ailey would have come in the car, but still. I am so thankful I got my home birth, and even more so, my happy, healthy, gorgeous, baby girl.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Doctor's are not God...
Tomorrow I have to go see the doctor who will do Ailey's biophysical profile and confirm that she is safe and sound inside me at 42 weeks gestation. My midwife has warned..."the doctor will recommend an induction as soon as possible". Midwife feels comfortable letting me go to 43 weeks if all looks good, and I trust her, but as soon as that doctor announces her "professional opinion" that word becomes the law. Even if all the tests come back picture perfect, doctor will be scheduling me for induction. What does that mean? Well, fluorescent lights, technology, monitors, increased risk for pitocin=c-section, etc. It means after birth my baby will be taken from me and rubbed with those rough hospital towels I hate. It means that I will have nurses bossing me around and telling me what I can and can't do...holding me hostage in their hospital when all I want is to lay in my own bed and breastfeed my little girl. I will turn down every I.V., every single form of pain management that they offer me. I will shoot the light bulbs out of the ceiling and crush the hospital bed so I can squat when I need to squat and walk when I need to walk. I will refuse pitocin and internal fetal monitoring. The only thing I am agreeing to is a membrane rupture. If they are going to make me do this, I am going to make it as homebirth as I can! I won't be entirely defeated.....
In the meantime, it's only Thursday. I've got one last natural induction resort....castor oil again, in higher dosages, using a recipe from the midwife....and prayer. Lot's and lot's of prayer.
In the meantime, it's only Thursday. I've got one last natural induction resort....castor oil again, in higher dosages, using a recipe from the midwife....and prayer. Lot's and lot's of prayer.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Being Overdue
November 1, 2009...still no baby. I am in complete shock and disbelief. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. Everyone keeps asking me when my induction date will be. When will I schedule my c-section? Those who know more keep asking me what my midwife will do. The point of going all natural is that nothing is done. The thing is, I am starting to doubt my body. It feels like it's not working right! Doesn't it know that a baby was supposed to be born from it a week ago? I
Being overdue is one of the worst feelings in the world. I would rather be in labor...that is at least accomplishing something despite the pain. Being overdue drains me of all my patience and energy. All of the nesting I did preparing for the baby is completely undone...and I don't have the ability to re-do it for the 100th time. I feel like I need to re-wash her clothes and bedding that have been sitting around for 3 weeks now collecting dust while waiting on her. My poor husband could really use a break from waiting on me hand and foot...God bless him. My 2 year old desperately needs his Mommy back and his behavior is extremely reflective of that. My relationships with my stepchildren are suffering. It's so hard to keep all my hopes and goals for this pregnancy in mind when I know that my OB would have induced me a week ago.
Then again, who knows what additional complications would have arisen from that route! I would be just as worthless after a c-section.
When I do become a midwife I sure will be able to sympathize with my overdue patients. My best advice is that any home remedy to try and make baby come is not worth it. Here is my experience...
Castor Oil: extreme vomiting and diarrhea. NO BABY.
Sex: incredible discomfort and hours of false labor. NO BABY.
Blue and Black Cohosh herbs: extreme nausea and a nasty taste in the mouth that caused me to vomit on one occasion. NO BABY.
The last time I blogged I thought for sure that my next blog would include photos of Ailey...looks like I was wrong. Keep you posted! In the meantime...trying to keep my sense of humor!
Being overdue is one of the worst feelings in the world. I would rather be in labor...that is at least accomplishing something despite the pain. Being overdue drains me of all my patience and energy. All of the nesting I did preparing for the baby is completely undone...and I don't have the ability to re-do it for the 100th time. I feel like I need to re-wash her clothes and bedding that have been sitting around for 3 weeks now collecting dust while waiting on her. My poor husband could really use a break from waiting on me hand and foot...God bless him. My 2 year old desperately needs his Mommy back and his behavior is extremely reflective of that. My relationships with my stepchildren are suffering. It's so hard to keep all my hopes and goals for this pregnancy in mind when I know that my OB would have induced me a week ago.
Then again, who knows what additional complications would have arisen from that route! I would be just as worthless after a c-section.
When I do become a midwife I sure will be able to sympathize with my overdue patients. My best advice is that any home remedy to try and make baby come is not worth it. Here is my experience...
Castor Oil: extreme vomiting and diarrhea. NO BABY.
Sex: incredible discomfort and hours of false labor. NO BABY.
Blue and Black Cohosh herbs: extreme nausea and a nasty taste in the mouth that caused me to vomit on one occasion. NO BABY.
The last time I blogged I thought for sure that my next blog would include photos of Ailey...looks like I was wrong. Keep you posted! In the meantime...trying to keep my sense of humor!
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