dreams of your own....

It's a common truth that all we do affects our children, but i received some insight today that carries that statement beyond the years in which we are raising our babies....praying for the college years to come instead of savoring every good and bad momen they are ours all ours. ...and into parenting our adult children. As adults, even without realizing it, we look to our parent's continuing examples to lead us and encourage us. Wow! What a huge responsibility we have to these little people! It's a chore, but it's also a blessing and honor. Here is my hope for myself as an adult parent: My children will still want their Mommy in times of sickness or struggle...even if its just an encouraging phone call or to run over with a cool cloth for a fever-stricken head. Being called upon, I will gladly fulfill these motherly duties. I hope and pray that when my children choose a path that might make me anxious, I will note their certainty and excitement and never let them see my hesitation. My children accomplishing their dreams is a cause for celebration even if it's not the dreams I dreamed for them. I hope and pray that I can be a holy example....more than anything else. I hope that now to my babies and in the future to my adult children I can teach, guide, and live in a way that will glorify Him. As a parent I just never considered that even after college graduation....or past the age of 23 if college ends up being left out of the dream....that my job will never be done and my INFLUENCE will be ever-present. I'm going to take on this task with great positivity and LOVE.

"Everything You Won't Let Me Do"

I am very anti-fast food, but occasionally, after days like today and nights like tonight, I surrender and let my kids dine on nuggets, apple slices, and chocolate milk from Mickey D's. So while my oldest boy and I were sitting there giggling he lets me know, "I always eat all my dinner from McDonalds!". I asked if he eats McDonalds often to which he replies "all the time...at mommies". I told him all the time isn't good because McD's isnt exactly the healthiest food. Then, he asks if the following foods his Mom makes are healthy: buttered noodles, white rice, green beans in a can, Wendy's, and pizza. I told him the truth and said he should fill up on those green beans! He asked if I could make those foods for him. I told him no. Then he said what made my heart race and my stomach sink..."Mimi, whatever you dont let me do, Mommy DOES!!!"
When Trey got home from work I told him of our conversation. Trey asked him what things he would like to do more of over at our house that his Mom lets him do. The following terrify me: Play video games whenever he wants without the timer set, play video games where people shoot other people, eat fast food all the time, get on the internet on his DsI because Mommy took it to the store and had the parental codes we set removed, and watch whatever he wants on tv. Now, of course this all needs to be cross-referenced, but I really do believe every bit of it. What do I do? I considered backing down on some rules, but only for a second. I cant let any of those rules out the window. If we say anything to his mom about it it won't change anything. It's sooo sad. My heart is so broken for what the children are subjected to over there.
This the hardest part of being a stepmommy: watching babies you know and love as your own, be mis-treated, neglected, and have their innocence threatened BY THEIR OWN BIOLOGICAL MOTHER.
I could have Trey talk to her about her lack of rules and lack of parenting and lack of morals, but that's just who she is. Forgive me for once again saying nasty things about this woman, but as a Mommy, I strongly feel she plain and simple cannot parent. :( I pray. It's the strongest and best and only defense I have.

In Tega Cay!

Hello Blog,
It's me, Jennifer. I know it's been a while!

So, we are all moved-in to our new home. It's amazing here. All the excitement of new things for the children to explore and learn about. Discovering the lake, swimming on the beach, having a big wooded backyard to run around and play in... The list really goes on and on. I feel like everyone seems happier than I have seen them in a long time...myself, included. Tega Cay is so peaceful and everyone is so friendly. We have more baked goods in our kitchen than we know what to do with...thank you welcoming neighbors!

So I know God called us to move to Tega Cay, and I am so grateful that he did. But, he has been seriously surprising me (he's SO darn good at doing that!) with all of the families I have met with lots and lotsa BABIES! First, at our real estate closing we meet our real estate lawyer. ELEVEN CHILDREN. Then, we move in and meet the family across the street...FOUR CHILDREN. Then, I ran into a homeschooling mom a few blocks down the street from me....FIVE CHILDREN. Today at Wal-Mart I hear the cashier say to the woman in front on me, "Wow, seems like you are feeding an army!"...her reply: "I am: an army of SIX." I turned to her and said, "Do you really have six children?" She smiled sweetly and turned to face me revealing her baby bump..."I do! And (rubs tummy) number SEVEN is on the way!" We continued to discuss (she was a homeschooler) homeschooling and big family living and she assured me I got it...which I already knew;) She also told me that there are so many large families in this area and a really great network for homeschoolers. I know some of you are thinking, "okay this is coincidence and you can read into it however you wish", but I KNOW what's going on here: reassurance. Not that I ever needed to be reassured that I was doing the right thing in having a large family, but, sometimes, I do love reassurance that, no, I am not crazy and there ARE other people out there whom God has called to raise many many warriors for Him. It is a sweet thing and I feel so blessed to be a mother as God has called me to be...although, I would go crazy without his constant guidance and reassurance!

Thank YOU God for bringing our family to Tega Cay, for blessing us with all we have...especially one another. Thank you for guiding our family in the way we should go and for never forsaking us on the roads you lead us down. AMEN.

Top 10 Reason We'll Always Love Prowess Lane

10. We built it and designed it from the ground-up

9. We made some of our very best friends, The Sepanski's, while living here.

8. We got our first painting, decorating, and yard work experiences living here.

7. It was ours...and Chase Financial's, but nonetheless, it was OURS.

6. Trey proposed in this house and we got married while living in this house.

5. Cook-outs with amazing people in our driveway...because the backyard was too small to fit everyone! (lol)

4. All the family celebrations that were spent here...even though we were always cramped because our family is so big!

3. Ailey was conceived and BORN HERE in our BATH TUB!

2. We bonded as a blended family in this house.

1. For 2 1/2 wonderful years, it always felt good to come HOME to this house:)

Slowing down a bit....

August 18, 2006 I met Trey Montgomery. October 13th, 2006 we shared our first kiss...which caught me by surprise and confirmed that he liked me a little more than a friend. On January 25, 2007 we found out (surprise!) that I was pregnant. October 2, 2007 we met our beautiful baby boy, Joey. December of 2007 we bought and moved into our first home. January 25, 2008 Trey asked if I would be his wife. February 15, 2009 we found out we were expecting AGAIN. April 25, 2009 we tied the knot. November 8, 2009 I got the daughter I had been praying for in little Ailey Grace. March 2010 God let me know that our family would be venturing down the path to adopting from Ethiopia. April 11, 2010 we sold our house. April 20, 2010 we signed a contract on a new, bigger, house in Tega Cay.

Right now, I'm in the middle of packing and preparing to move out and then move in. I've enjoyed all of the blessings we have received since Trey and I fell in love, but we are so ready to slow down a bit! While house-hunting we were deciding between a huge 3100 square foot serious fixer-upper with 6 bedrooms, smelly carpet, insulation falling out, and out-dated EVERYTHING and a 2300 square foot, beautiful, 4 bedroom home that needed a few updates, but was otherwise in great condition. Obviously the appeal of the fixer-upper was that it was quite large. Knowing we were being called to adopt we thought that we would be stupid to not take the larger space and then take on the challenge of renovations. We made arrangements and a contractor came out to look at the place. He took measurements and said he would get back to us with quotes on all the work that needed to be done.

After our visit with the fixer-upper, we stopped by the smaller house that we were also considering. Being in the pretty house after the stress of discussing renovations with the contractor was like getting a big hug from a long lost friend. We were overcome with a sense of peace and relaxation. It was so easy for us to envision ourselves in this home. It was so pleasant being inside this home. We started to feel guilty for wanting to take the easy path and for wanting to move into a home that we wouldn't be able to stay in for forever since we wanted to adopt.

I cried a lot of tears. I LOVED the smaller house. Trey shared that he just wanted someone to tell us that "it was okay to move into the smaller home". We both wanted it. We wanted it for ourselves and we wanted it for the children that we already had. I started thinking of our children in Ethiopia. I started thinking about the ages of the children we already had. I started to get really sad when I realized that our time with Carly and Conner was already limited enough as it was...and that bringing more children in during their childhood is going to mean even less individual time with them. This smaller house was a better location for them to ride their bikes to the park. To swim in the lake. To go out in the boat that we would one day have. The backyard was great for them to get out and play in. THIS HOUSE was perfect for our family the way it is now...but not for how it would be in the future. I figured that it would be better for EVERYONE involved if we pumped our brakes a bit. We had just been declined from one of our top choice adoption agencies because they said that our youngest baby was too young and our debt to income ratio was too great to adopt at this time. Maybe we should pay attention to that. We have also received a lot of advice on adopting in birth order. Maybe we should consider that, as well.

So, instead of rushing through another 4 years of life, we are going to slow down a bit. We are going to relax and enjoy what we have. We are going to focus on the bits of actual childhood that Carly and Conner have left. We are going to get some debt paid off. We are going to reach for promotions at work. We are going to allow ourselves to adopt in birth order. I have been wrestling with a lot of emotions in delaying adoption, but I think even our adopted children will benefit in coming home to a family that is debt-free and completely prepared for them to join the family.

So, we prepare our fields some more before raising our barn. I am really excited to slow down a bit. I am used to such a fast pace that it may take some getting used to, but I think our children will really (hopefully) thank us for it. :)

It's a HOME, It's a TOUGH DECISION!

With our house sold and a cut-off date of June 3rd to get enrolled in the neighborhood schools in Tega Cay, we are frantically trying to figure out where we are going to live. Our closing is in 3 weeks and it would be nice to move from one house to the other instead of renting out a storage unit and essentially making 2 moves when we could just make one. At the same time, sometimes these things cannot be rushed. The house that we feel we must move in to to make our dreams of adoption come true needs, well, some work...some TLC! It's so hard to be patient, but it looks like taking our time, hiring a contractor, a structural engineer, and an inspector, are going to pay-off in the long run. Hopefully all signs will be "go" and we can get moved-in before the school year comes to a close. We are still in a full-out battle with bio-mom over where the big kids should attend school, but with no one living in Indian Land, we will have no other choice but to
(aw shucks) enroll Carly and Conner in THE BEST schools in the state (another reason we love Tega Cay).
The choice is between a lovely, wooded, 4 bedroom, 2300 square foot home with a boat slip that needs NO WORK listed at $250,000, and a not-so-good-looking, also wooded, 6 bedroom, 3200 square foot home that needs A LOT of work listed at $215,000. Decisions decisions....
I know this: that God is leading us and that He will help us to decide. Even though I so badly want to move in to the smaller, beautiful, more-expensive, EASIER, house....I think that what I want might not matter....
Below is what we are working with here:


I'm sure you can guess which is which! We need prayers that we are led to make the right choice...it's a big one! xoxo

Last minute getaway....

So, last week, before the festivities of Easter weekend, I made a last minute decision to get away to the beach. It was just me and the babies. The big kids were at their mom's house and Trey was behind at work, so the timing was perfect. It was a test of nerves driving down to Ocean Isle with a 2 year old and a 5 month old....the dvd player was a lifesaver. When we finally arrived to the Ardrey beach house, it was as if I hadn't just listened to the in-van craziness for the past 3.5 hours. What a sweet little place. The house was one the far East end of the island. There was a pretty view from the kitchen and front porch. We found the upstairs bedroom and loft to be the perfect place for me and the babies to settle in. First order of business for Joey...get to the beach. After unpacking a few things I threw together a beach bag and we headed down to the water. The effects of being cooped up in a mini-van all morning were definitely showing as Joey ran around and chased after me as I pushed Ailey in her stroller. That afternoon the wind was fierce and the temperature was just right. We headed in for baths and dinner and then played on the porch as the sun set. We stayed for another day and a half. It was such sweet time with my babies. Of course, doing everything alone was exhausting, but it was worth it. Joey had so much fun playing on the beach. He loved collecting shells and making sandcastles. Little Ailey saw the ocean for the first time and felt the sand between her toes.

There were many photo opportunities....beautiful babies + beautiful scenery = MAMMARAZI! haha. I think that my kids think that having a camera in their faces is a normal part of life.
On our last day there we tracked down my spring breaking sister and spent some time with her. She had her "big boy" friends with her and Joey really enjoyed getting their attention. They were great with Joey and they all had a blast getting in touch with their inner child while digging giant holes and burying one another.
Getting away was just so good for me. Being at the beach is so calming and refreshing. It was good for Trey, too. He was able to get so much of his end-of-month work done that he got his monthly bonus! I told him I wouldn't have a problem going out of town at the end of every month...wink wink. Breaking free from routine, every once in a while, is GOOD! GOOD! GOOD!