The summer finally comes to a close as we scatter for last minute school supplies, hair appointments, shoes that fit just right, and meet the teachers that will be expanding our children's minds over the next 9 months.
Last night was back to school night. I was so proud of Carly and Conner! They both walked in to their respective schools (Carly is in middle school now!) with such confidence and ease. They were both so eager to see wait awaited them for the 2009-10 school year. It's so wonderful to see your kids excited about school...even though they will swear they are so upset that summer is over and wish that the school year was as short as summer vacation. As for Mimi, I was a nervous wreck over the entire thing. Since this is one of those rare events where there is a lot of involvement with me and bio-mom, I really could have used a Xanax. I felt, as the involved bonus mommy I am, that I needed to be present. I mean, who is there every afternoon greeting the kids at the bus stop and helping with homework? Yep! It's me. (Wouldn't trade that for the world, by the way.) So this was another event sure to be graced with the bio-Mom's awkward presence. In years past I was a little more vocal on back to school night. I wanted it to be known that "hey! I am the step-mom, but I am also running this show!". This year? With some new perspective I took more to staying in the background. I made sure that bio-mom introduced herself before I had my chance. I made sure to put bio-Mom's name ahead of mine and Trey's when filling out contact information. I just let her do all of the talking. She embarrassed all of us, but hey, it is what it is! My new attitude made her having an attitude ridiculous. Mostly, I think it went much better than expected and I think the kids felt truly grateful to see a lack of conflict between parents. Slowly but surely I am growing into my role in the children's lives.
Being a stay-at-home step-mom is one of the trickiest jobs in the world...and emotionally confusing! I am raising these babies. Caring for them when they are sick, helping educate them, working weekends to buy their school clothes and school supplies, cooking their meals, keeping them clean...yet...they are not mine. I don't love them as anything but my own, but when it's all said and done, I don't get to be Mommy or Daddy...just a happy face on the sidelines of life. That's hard, but I think if I tried to do this any other way it would not work for my family. If I was hands-off, made Trey and Shannon figure everything out on top of their work schedules, didn't love and care for the kids as my own, and just completely un-involved myself, my family would not be happily and lovingly functioning. So I press forward in the role of stay-at-home step-mommy. Never imagined having to wear this hat in all my life. I could use a support group if one exists....
So right now it's at little after 6 a.m. I have been up since 4. You would think it was my first day of middle school today! I can't wait to hear all about it from Carly. Conner starts next week and will be at his mom's house...so can't wait to get the phone call from him saying everything went great! Can you believe it? A new middle schooler, a first grader, a toddler, and a soon-to-be newborn on the way. So many new experiences for us all at once! I love it. What a wild ride.
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