I remember being in my car, listening to Christian radio, and having the realization that:
IF I WAS EVER GOING TO GET OUT OF MY CURRENT SITUATION IN LIFE, IT WAS GOING TO TAKE GOD TO DO IT.
Then I had a vision of a man---a single Dad whose kids played soccer.
Via Myspace a man, who I had met weeks earlier through a mutual friend, began exchanging emails with me. He was a single dad...whose daughter played soccer.
Today that man is my husband, the father of my 2 stepchildren, and father to my 2, soon-to-be 3, children.
Some days this life brings such great challenges that I forget that God placed me in this family.
I don't wish being a step-mommy on anyone. It is thankless and dramatic...a rollercoaster of emotions, to say the least. You are but you aren't. You want to, but it isn't your place, but you just might have to anyway and suffer the consequences. You're tired, but it needs to be done. They're yours, but they aren't (but they really are *wink*).
I want to run away and find a home with one mommy and one daddy so badly some days! I have to remember, it wasn't for no reason that I am a part of THIS home. God's plan is for me to be here. When I said my vows, they were to many many people.
Staying strong when I want to quit is so hard. God gives me strength...especially on days like this. I know one day I will "see" what I "know"...that there is a REASON for all of this.
Me and MY Bonus kids...back when we were "dating":)
Crazy that Conner was Joey's age when we started dating!
Even crazier that that little girl to down there to my right is now a beautiful young lady...a teenager and everything!
1 comment:
Awww how sweet. I agree. I don't wish it on anyone. It is definately MUCH harder than growing a non-mixed family. You got bio-mama drama and I got disciplining drama that is clearing up now that we have them on weekends THANK GOODNESS!! It's hard to raise kids from another home and I advise anyone against it. BUT....I love them with all my heart and they are worth every penny. That's why we fight to do what's best because they are OUR children. Having a daughter already, I believe led me to this life. I wanted a mix family to relate and have a father for my daughter, which I do and I am so thankful for. Sometimes I wish I could take it all back and run away too, but I wouldn't trade it for the world either just as you wouldn't trade your own kids. You are a special person for giving your best to those children and I am sure there aren't words to describe how much they love you! xoxo
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